I've never been particularly fond of choosing the easiest path with paved roads and manicured lawns. I prefer the dirt, the dust, the wild brush and unfurling foliage of the unexpected curves. I am someone compelled by the challenge of the climb. I am pretty sure my husband is as well.
So, how does it work - when two people who are accustomed to taking on insurmountable challenges pair up with an intention of happily every after? Well, it's difficult, it's sweaty, it can be painful, and there is great pride in the decision to keep climbing. Together, we recognize that we can team up for an easier path and that not everything has to be hard to matter. Suffering for the purpose of suffering is ego based martyrdom and will only prevent true enlightened opportunity. We remind one another of that.
My husband and I do have profound differences, divergent beliefs and values. This does not make sense to many and when we are in pain, I field a lot of suggestions that quitting would be a simpler choice. But instead of making an easy irreconcilable choice, we are both changing and growing. This union has allowed us both to look ourselves in the mirror and choose the people we truly want to be. We give one another permission to heal.
I am a light bearer, a joy spreader, a healer and a lover and I have learned that I can only offer that to those who wish to receive it. My husband is a builder, a warrior, a fighter, and a guide. He too can only thrive in a space where those qualities are honored.
This morning, curled up with only five and a half hours of sleep, our alarm sounded for another day as the morning brightened. We agreed to keep supporting one another for the gifts we have to give for at least another year. So, with the love and optimism of determination, healing, and a willingness to grow, we will keep climbing.
I love you, Will.