Wednesday, September 12, 2012

You Are Who You Are: Kindergarten

In 1984, at six years old - certain things about me were clear.

1) I love to talk.
2) I am easily excited.
3) I spend my free time organizing class plays.
4) I'm not so good at letting others take their turn.
5) I have a big imagination but find putting my ideas down on paper quite tedious.

and the big one

6) I don't raise my hand or wait to be called on.

Summers Kindergarten Report Card
Colorado Academy, Kindergarten Report Form - March 1984

Ever wonder how you got the way you are? You know the personality traits about yourself you love; enthusiasm, creativity, positivity, diligence, empathy, competitiveness and then the traits you aren't so thrilled with; impatience, disorganization, procrastination, negativity, insecurity...

Well I'm here to tell you, it's not your fault.
It's just you. 

Last weekend, my parents gave me the final heave-ho on my stuff at their house. (Well excluding that old wedding dress, but we'll get to that eventually) There was a 'file cabinet' that was filled with everything I've ever written since basically birth. I sat with my cousin Lily and we poured through three drawers worth of pencil written, crayon colored, and typewriter tapped compositions. Oh the undiscovered treasures I found!

"I would want a furry cat, soft as clouds and we would wear crowns"

Amongst the treasures... my kindergarten report card, my first poems, my first journals which included my thoughts on bullying (bad), abortion (sad but a choice in some cases), and a rather fascinating story about turkeys taking over the world. Hey - in a ten year old's mind A LOT can happen.

The first history report I ever wrote addresses the lack of notoriety in history of women who have made a difference and ends with the sentence, "These women's actions are all as noble, and now you're going to learn why it's a Woman's World too." Yep, I was into women's equality at eleven.

History Report 1988

And then there was my modeling portfolio. Wow did I grow up fast from ten to thirteen. 

10 and 13 (wasn't allowed to smile at 13 because of the braces)

It was fascinating to dig through the archeology of my childhood. I am so lucky to be presented with black and white self reflection of the building blocks that built me. One thing is clear. I am who I am and this 34 year old woman's personality and value structure was set in sparkling platinum  at a pretty young age.

I've been struggling to figure out what the next chapter of Caution Curves Ahead might be, now that my life changing thesis is complete, graduate school is done, and I'm in a pretty good place fitness wise. While writing my next book Naked with Chanel No. 5, I've not been sure what distinct voice might come through this blog.

I think I found it in these aging paper thin pages.

You Are Who You Are 

We are not just what makes us good, we are what makes us complete. We are not a summation of only our finest moments fit for Facebook, but instead a collection of all the highs, the lows, the opinionated, the passionate, the days we are weak and the days we are strong. The friends, the enemies, the priorities and the characteristics that make us each unique are NOT to be apologized for.

So what makes you unique? 
What makes you you?  
What's been there since the beginning?

I don't raise my hand and wait to be called on for anything. I don't like bullies and I don't like people who go behind your back. I am a curvy feminine feminist and I'm decidedly pro-choice. I'm definitely silly, I am defiantly strong and well I'll just say it - I've kinda always loved princesses and kittens.

Head Shot - Age 13

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

A Power Blonde Gets Camera Ready - 1 Min - 5 Minute Makeover Not much more too it than that! Here's how I go from just a wee bit mid workday drab, to super camera cute for appearances like the ones on Huff Post Live! It's a five minute job if you start with the right tools. I'm a Laura Mercier and Nars kinda girl!