|In my case it means I'm exhausted!|
I'm 29 days away from finishing my thesis project at UCLA and have found myself pulling all nighters yet not getting everything I need done, done. There's too much to do and I can't seem to prioritize anything. It's crazy - like running a marathon but stuck on a darn hamster wheel for the last four miles. It seems that there isn't enough time or enough brain power to actually think through all that I have to think through.
I showed up on campus today and ran into a friend who said,
HA! That's funny. No - I haven't. Nope match.com has yet to succeed in matching me with true love. Actually I realized that I hadn't left my house since Tuesday morning and desperately needed to get out. Quick shower and a blow dry by way of rolled down windows....
But now I'm here, sitting in the nerdatorium (what we call our study room) and I still can't put fingers to keyboard on this next round of recommendations that are way overdue for my team.
So let's take a moment to ponder..... In an effort to better understand this mental procrastination, let's think about what procrastination might mean. (Yes I get the irony) Mostly because I'm not the only one who is dealing with it - and if you'll indulge me, I'm thinking some creative writing my dislodge this writer's block.
1) Not enough preparation? Well that's doubtful but totally possible. Maybe I don't feel sufficiently prepared to write what I have to write. Hmmm - my friend Andy might tell me to SITFU - which I will allow you to google for translation purposes.
2) Exhaustion - All nighter's are NEVER a good idea. The idea that I might exhaust myself into productivity is sorta silly. Unfortunately there has NEVER been a paper in my life that I turned in before it was actually due. I just get things done last minute. That's not gonna work forever is it?
3) Fear of finishing something - OK - not to get all too therapy on everyone here - but maybe procrastination is about fear of letting go? I've been in this awesome cocoon called graduate school for the last two years, honing my skills, learning about myself, blogging up a storm - and finishing this project means it's all coming to an end. Maybe I'm not ready quite yet to say goodbye to what has become a very wonderful, safe environment. The big bad world is back out there!
So what do you think? Have you ever found yourself entirely incapable of getting off your hamster wheel? What kicked you into gear? I need a serious kick - and nope kids, it's definitely not going to be a roll in the hay!