Here's my Caution Curves Ahead perspective on what it means to be the driver in your own relationships, friendships, body and career. We can't control how people behave, but we are entirely in charge of teaching everyone what's acceptable to us - and like any lesson, if it's reiterated - it will eventually be learned.
Now this begins with how you treat yourself. When I started this whole grad school adventure, a mentor of mine noted that I was seeking 'legitimacy' as a media expert. What was it about that word? Why did I need to be legitimate to others? Was I legitimate to myself? The answer was "No". I didn't actually believe that I had the experience, know how, or savvy to do the job I wanted. Instead I'd spent years trying to convince myself that I could be good 'if'. Lord was I wrong! I actually do have everything I need. I've always had it. Wanna know a secret .... you probably have everything you need to achieve whatever you want as well.
when you take yourself seriously.
you are what you think you are.
and isn't willing to change Unfriend em!
A very dear friend of mine who has gone through a pretty harsh breakup these last few months asked me to swing by on Sunday after my morning hike before studying and Oscar watching. She sat me down and said,
"I need you to know that I have learned a lot from you about setting boundaries and taking care of yourself. Getting through these last few months would have been a lot harder if I didn't know what you've gone through."
A year ago, nobody would have said I was a role model for taking care of myself. Nobody would have said I knew how to set boundaries and create the types of relationships and opportunities I deserved. But after a year, a lot of hard work, and a lot of reflection - turns out I can. Wherever you are today, you can be somewhere else a year from now.
I'm pretty sure that whatever is challenging you, whatever the curvy road ahead is - you can create a pretty good map on how to get there.
and it starts with deciding how we treat ourselves.