Friday, December 9, 2011

Unexpected Curves - Facebook Sucker Punches, Finals, & Inspired by Audrina Partridge

I've been dark on you guys for a while and not because I went on a fast food binge but because I had a really unexpected kinda awful thing happen last week. I've been debating for the last 10 days how to respond and for the most part I just had to muscle through. Since this blog is about the unexpected curves and how we deal with them and I've promised to be honest with you all..... here goes.

After Thanksgiving, I was ready to hit it! My schedule included a quick road trip down to San Diego to collect video footage of Kenya from my favorite Navy doctor Andy Baldwin, some fascinating meetings about the future of media, 9 hours of lecture for my Vietnam trip, a boat load of studying to do for an Operations final that terrified me and a presentation for a management communications class that I had yet to get my arms around. Game on!

And then out of nowhere - I got sucker punched.

As some of you know, I was married for about six years and in that relationship for a total of nine years. Pretty much all of my adult life. Unfortunately my former husband and I were not able to come together in a productive non destructive way and our marriage ended 16 months ago. Any relationship that ends is hurtful. A marriage that ends is truly the most painful thing I've ever been through. It's worse than a death in the family, because unlike a death where people rally around you and you have support, when a marriage ends, you lose friends. People are divided and sometimes you really don't know why.

Last week my former husband and a former friend of mine (who threw us a wedding shower) came out on FACEBOOK announcing that they had secretly been in a relationship for over a year. I'm not sure who they were announcing it to, as surely their close friends and family knew, but it was announced - almost a press release style - complete with pictures chronicling their adventures travelling around the world together. Status: Out! Officially :)



It didn't take long before my phone started buzzing with texts. OMG DID YOU SEE.... my dearest of friends, called to make sure I was OK. The answer.... "Yes, I am OK."  It was embarrassing, hurtful, confusing and in my opinion straight up old school way of bullying. Turns out even at the ripe old age of 33, there are still mean girls and you can still get bullied online! I didn't mind they were dating, in fact - if anyone can find happiness, I'm all for that. What hurt was the way it was handled. It was just cruel.

For the next four days I had to cram for finals, release and publicize an article on TheMortonReport, spend an incredibly intense two days working with my team on our upcoming project in Ethiopia with Project Mercy and plan for my school trip to Vietnam. I took a moment or two to cry, be mad, talk to my friends, IM with my cousins, cry with my astoundingly practical mom and then I had to get back to productivity.

I got through the week. I faked it.

I sat next to a reality/ tv celebrity on the flight down to Mexico yesterday, Audrina Partidge. She spent seven years on the reality series The Hills. It took me nearly the whole flight, and her finally telling me that she was on the show to realize who she was. (My celebrity radar is profoundly flawed) Here was this young introspective, funny, kind woman who has had her own super not fair share of public sucker punches talking about re-setting life after spending a long time influenced by others. She's taken a break from her public and professional life for a year and will soon emerge with new found self directed confidence. Go for it girl!!

Here's what I've learned. Some days really really suck. Some days are really really great. Without the lows, there would not be the highs - and it always gets better. Recognize that any story always has a lot of different perspectives, but it's absolutely OK to be the princess in your own fairy tale. Protect yourself and your heart and be friends with people who will protect you. And lastly, Facebook can be a really really mean place, but it doesn't have to be. Choose to use it well.

For now - I'm in Mexico watching pink and blue sunrise, knowing today is a new day. I'm ready to go for a long run alongside the ocean and getting back to work on those marathon times.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

A Power Blonde Gets Camera Ready - 1 Min - 5 Minute Makeover Not much more too it than that! Here's how I go from just a wee bit mid workday drab, to super camera cute for appearances like the ones on Huff Post Live! It's a five minute job if you start with the right tools. I'm a Laura Mercier and Nars kinda girl!